Previously i have mention age of 4 phase is awesome. indeed they still are. however as they are getting more independent in term of their way and activites.
i realise there are something …
We as parent must adapt to changes too in some way. just like the discipline and nagging will become a habit and after that you might realise that from parents close sharing become a teaching practise.. and….
Their determination and testing of boundaries expanded
i would said these might trigger due to their explore and curiosity that lead them more independent. As a result they would like to explore themselve more.
lately i know my boy is in this phase, i know he love to do things himself now and is a good sign. however the most common one is while having meal.
That day happen to share with my friends that are also in same phase as me with similar challenge. haha..
one example i could think of right now is quite common is the meal time, they will take their own sweet time or picky about food to finish it.
1. Manage your time with rules
Till the time i know i being constantly asking my boy to eat. he might be distracted by other factors. i know something is not going to be good. he is just waiting for me to call, and next thing the spoon in the mouth. i slowly improve this habit of his.
1st – i believe we all tell our children why food are important and spend time on this to share with them and let them love eating.
2nd- have a good chat with them about the rules that we both agreed and let them have an option to choose. for example, finish the food by 9.30 or 9.40am etc.
3rd – stand on your ground like rules are that agreed upon. if they can’t finish on time (Breadth in and breath out – this is to help out your mental stress .LOL ) or example, no watching of favourite program, or be hungry to sch, or no outing as delay by your meal. we got to be firm on this. Using clock as a guideline and use big word like ‘manage your time’. some may said they don’t understand, this is where i feel they can start learning with effort of explaining over times.
2. Saiding sorry the truth meaning
Just to elaborate on point 3,if they are truly know they are at fault, you might to give them a chance or ‘discount outcome’. however you must know whether they are sincere or just trying to brush through.
( for example;happen my boy watch the disney channel, there is one part of the sophia episode that the little magician stole the flying horses and discipline by his mum and was ask to apologies to sophia and all, and the boy do it in a bad and good way) this is a good sharing and also i also share what is sorry really means when a person said it to another person.
after 1 try or 2. they will be so independent and will keep telling you Daddy , i finish my food with a smile and run to you . Not forgetting to praise them too. 🙂
3. have a bed talk or a good chat with the little one
i always think a soft approach is a form of love to him. explain to the little one that you love what you like to do with him and want to minimise discipline and why we have to. i also apologies too when sometime we as parents might be abit over demanding or handle not quite well. sometime they will cry out or you can see the sparkle in their eyes telling you that they understand. and this is one of the way they also learn what is sorry really means and how to said it out. 🙂
No matter what happen, we always love them. this will also condition us as parent instead, not just grumbling why the kid like this and why they they don’t listen, we will be more focus towards love and patience towards them by easing their little feeling and soul. by acknowledging the things we want to achieve together especially after the ‘bad days’ and talk it out, you will see that it might improve alot not just the things needed to be done , the bonding also get stronger.
JTS: there is a few times when the little children call me uncle , he laugh. i ask him why, he said i like kor kor (brother). hahah.. i know our father son relationship is an unique one. 🙂